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9th, May 2013 @ 12:00 am
 

 
31st, Mar 2013 @ 11:03 pm
I had a surprisingly amazing time in Iceland. I don't really have a bucket list, but if I did have one, seeing the aurora would be high on it. Ever since I first saw a picture of it, I knew it was something I had to see with my own eyes. I always love things that glow, and the thought that something can glow so brilliantly across the sky just amazed me.

I went on this trip trying not to get my hopes up. Trying to see the aurora was basically the only reason we decided to visit Iceland in the winter, but I also knew a lot of luck was involved. I figured the more times I try, the better chance I will have of seeing it, so this was attempt number one.

Day 1 - Thursday

When we got off the plane, the weather was exactly like what we expected—cold, windy and rainy. Since our flight got in at 7am and checkin at our hotel wasn't until 2pm, our first stop was the Blue Lagoon. Maybe we just had really bad weather that day, but we thought the whole thing was completely overrated. The water was definitely not warm enough and you quickly learned to huddle where everyone else was standing because those were the spots that were pumping out warm water. It didn't seem particularly enjoyable or natural. We stayed in the water for like 20 minutes before quickly deciding that we had enough—been there, done that, moving on.

When we got to Reykjavik, we got lunch at the Sea Baron. I had read good things about it online, but it was pretty underwhelming. The seafood was fresh, but it tasted pretty bland. The lobster in the lobster soup was soft and delicious, but the soup itself was not seasoned well. With this and the Blue Lagoon as our introduction to Iceland, it was not exactly a great start to the trip.

Things changed completely, however, with dinner. We ate at the Fish Market and it was simply amazing. Amazing. Food in Iceland isn't cheap, but their tasting menus are such a great deal. For $75 per person (and their prices INCLUDE tip and taxes), we had a delicious nine course meal that not only allowed us to try a variety of food, but was also extremely filling. They give you an unbelievable amount of food. We tried whale for the first time and it was quite delicious. Tastes like really tender steak. Unfortunately both my mom and I are not fans of lamb, which is huge in Iceland, so that always went to waste. The dessert PLATTER was amazing though, and since I have such a sweet tooth, a good dessert is really important to me. The chocolate molten cake was one of the best I've had. Extremely rich but not overly sweet. I couldn't stop eating it even though I had already started challenging the capacity of my stomach a few courses earlier. I was beyond delighted with this meal and walked back to our hotel a few pounds heavier but with a huge smile on my face. My love for good food is undeniable.

Given the weather we had that day, we were not surprised to find out that it was too cloudy for the Northern Lights.

Day 2 - Friday

We woke up, put on layers on clothing, and packed our bags in preparation for our two-day tour to Jokulsarlon. We sat with anticipation in the lobby as we waited for pickup, only to have the guide come tell us that the TOUR WAS CANCELED due to strong winds in the South =( That's the Icelandic weather for ya. Luckily, the hotel was accommodating and let us stay an extra night at the same price, and I quickly adjusted our itinerary. We were supposed to have an easy day on Monday, the day before we leave, where we would go horseback riding for a few hours and then just spend the rest of the time walking around the city. I called the horseback riding company to see if we could switch the dates and luckily the timing was perfect because they were already out picking up people and was able to swing by and pick us up as well.

Icelandic horses are extremely adorable since they are smaller. I want one. My mom was scared at first and asked if she could not ride it when she first got on, but she luckily stuck with it and I think enjoyed herself =) We got to experience tolting, which is a special gait for Icelandic horses that is smoother and thus kinder for your butt. It was really fun when the horses started to move fast. Overall, a really enjoyable experience.

After we got back, we went to the tour companies to try to book activities for the other two days that we now have free. Luckily managed to find something for both days. The weather was much better today so we explored Reykjavik for a bit before heading back to shower and prepare for dinner.

Had dinner at Tapas Barrin, which was just okay. Got to tried puffin, which was really salty. Not sure if it's naturally that way or just the result of the chef using too much seasoning. Either way, not that enjoyable. Also had a shot of Brennivín, Iceland's signature liquor. I thought it tasted like licorice but since I can't find any support for that online, I guess it was just me. The best dish was the langoustine, but everything else was not memorable.

Also too cloudy that night for the Northern Lights.

Day 3 - Saturday

We signed up for the West Iceland tour since we needed something to fill the day. It was a good tour to start with because even though the scenery was nice, it definitely wasn't as beautiful as the ones from the next two days. Overall, it was relaxing but nothing spectacular.

The Northern Lights tour was on for that night though! Had a quick dinner at a Thai restaurant and then was off on our tour. While we were waiting in the lobby, some other tourist made fun of us for overdressing since we were all bundled up, but we were actually very properly dressed since it got extremely cold just standing there for two hours waiting for the light to appear. So to that tourist, we would like to say HA, suck it.

While we got to see a very faint glow, it looked much better on camera than in person. It was kind of disappointing, to be honest. The second location was slightly better, but it still didn't live up to our expectations. We were happy to see something, but in the end, it wasn't mind blowing or anything.

Day 4 - Sunday

Golden Circle and Snowmobile tour. No wonder the golden circle is so famous. It truly is beautiful. The Gullfoss waterfall was stunning, Seeing the geyser Strokkur shoot up into the sky was pretty cool. Driving a snowmobile was also fun, but the views were truly amazing. Being on the Langjökul glacier, looking out into the endless white, it was amazingly calming and beautiful. The sunny weather gave us some great views.

We decided to give the Northern Lights another try. Best. Decision. Ever. When we got to the viewing location, the glow in the sky was already more prevalent than the previous night. Got some great pictures. But what was truly, truly amazing was when the green grew stronger and it actually started moving across the sky. Everyone started screaming and just watching the lights move was breathtaking. It was so mysterious, so beautiful, beyond words. It truly was "dancing" across the skies. This happened twice and while it didn't last very long, it was much more than we expected, especially after what we saw on the first night. It's an extremely humbling experience to see nature produce something so beautiful, so magnificent. Even when we got back to the city, we could still see some glow in the sky. We were so lucky to see such great activity that night. Second time on this trip where I couldn't stop smiling, except this lasted the whole night. I even had to reassure myself when I woke up that I did indeed see it, and it wasn't just a dream.

Even though I hate the cold, I am seriously considering living somewhere in the arctic region for one whole winter just so I can see this again. Truly one of the most amazing things I've seen in my life. My mom was saying how before the lights came dancing across the skies, she thought to herself that this was going to be it. She probably will not have another chance to see the Northern Lights in her life so the faint glow was all she was going to get. I'm so glad she got to see much more than that =)

Day 5 - Monday

I was originally just thinking of doing a glacier hike, but since my mom was interested in visiting a natural hot spring that you can actually go in, we decided to do the "Fire and Ice" tour, which included both a trip to the hot springs and a glacier hike by a volcano. I'm glad we decided to do the hot spring. Getting there was actually a hike in itself, but it was so cool laying there in the river during winter, with snow on the mountains behind us. Extremely relaxing. It was warmer than I had expected in that area, so getting in the water wasn't an issue. What was an issue, however, was hiking back. My poor mom had such difficulty making back up the mountain, but I'm proud of her for doing it. Afterwards, we went to some waterfalls that were quite stunning. Did the glacier hike which was rather uneventful, but overall, a good day.

Had another sumptuous 8-course meal at Grill Market. Not as good as the Fish Market, but still delicious...especially the dessert. Was a great ending for our trip. To my surprise, this turned out to be one of the best trips I've had =)


 
8th, May 2012 @ 01:00 am
I hate the feeling of liking someone. Maybe that's a contributing factor for why I've been signle for so long. Having feelings suck. Where are these feelings coming from? How did this happen? I've never developed feelings for someone SO quickly before.


 
13th, Apr 2012 @ 12:25 am
It has been a really long time since I was in a relationship. Although there are certain things that I really enjoy about being single, there are definitely perks to being in a relationship that I do miss. In the past, a lot of it had to with physical needs, but I'm beginning to really feel the emotional aspect of it. I wonder if part of it also has to do with the fact that everyone around me are in extremely stable relationships. It makes me question why I've been single for so long and still haven't found that connection with someone.

Anyway, pretty much right after I moved New York, I decided to join OKCupid. I was on it for less than a month before work got too busy. Since not getting fired still takes priority over dating, I deactivated my account. But I was still in contact with a few people that I had been chatting with. There was this one particular guy whom I actually kind of liked. But I slept with him much, much too early. Well I'd like to blame it on the circumstances, it's really just a matter of poor judgement.

Given my casual attitude towards sex, I always thought that I be emotionally unaffected by casual sex, but time after time, I realize that it's really not as easy as it seems. I don't know. Maybe I just hadn't done it enough. Maybe a few more experiences like this and I will become apathetic to it.

Something tells me this is the path of online dating anyway. Even though I was only on the site briefly, I quickly learned that it is extremely easy to meet people, which is precisely why it is so difficult to actually connect with someone. You know how they say when you're presented with a lot of choices, it's not actually a good thing because it becomes overwhelmingly complex. Online dating is basically like modern shopping. Before I make any purchases, even for really simple things, I feel like I need to check online first to see if I can find the same or a better product cheaper elsewhere. When you're talking with so many different people online, you feel like you have so many options. You put in less effort. It makes harder to commit to anything.

I half regret my decision with the boy because I did like him, but the sex was meh so I guess whatever. I would have been much more upset if the sex had been amazing. So all I can say is thank you random boy for reminding me of what I have known all along. After this experience, I really want to reactivate my account because it's so much easier to not care when you can devote your attention to the many other boys out there.

But I'm resisting this temptation until I finish training. Not getting fired still comes first. After training I'm jumping back into this shit even if I already feel like it's going to make me more pessimistic about the dating scene in New York. But I believe in numbers. No, not the number of sexual partners. I believe that as a mere fact of probability, the best chances to find what you're looking for is to keep looking. Even if the odds are bad, it's better than not looking, right?

New York, give me another month and I'll be ready for you.


 
25th, Dec 2011 @ 03:47 pm
Christmas has been feeling less and less festive as I've grown older. Part of it has to do with the fact my parents no longer put up a tree or lights, which is unfortunate because I love Christmas lights (well I guess I just love lights in general) but then I am also too incredibly lazy to do it myself. Maybe once I move out I'll have a greater motivation to decorate my "own" place. Christmas used to be my favorite holiday, but I guess everything becomes a little less magical as you grow older =( It didn't feel like Christmas at all this year, especially with the strange weather we've been having. But we watched Love Actually today and that definitely made it feel more Christmas-y. I forgot how much I love that movie.

I had hot pot with San tonight and we had a nice long talk about a variety of things—life, careers, boys, travels, memories, etc...I guess that's what prompted this entry. We were both saying how we should write more. It's obviously not an easy task and it's really too time consuming sometimes, but so many things are too easily forgotten. I really enjoyed our conversation and it made me realized that even though I've spent a lot more time with my coworkers during this past year, it's a very different type of friendship. I really enjoy hanging out with them and we have tons of fun together, but we hardly have any serious talks with each other. It's actually just a lot of drinking and a lot of gossip and a lot of complaining. I miss these talks, taking the time to reflect on life with someone, to gain reassurance that other people are just as lost and confuse about life. You would think that growing older would change that, but it really didn't. Even as you gain direction with certain aspects, there's stil a lot of unknowns, and while that isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's still somewhat frightening.

When I see Keri and her friends, they seem like they have everything figured out already. Good careers, extremely stable relationships, life directions...I think I'm slowly getting there with certain things in my life, but it's definitely nice to acknowledge and accept that uncertainty with someone.

Anyway, one thing I mentioned to San was that I would at least try to record the funny things that happen because those are always great memories to have. So here's one. Last weekend, I went to New York to look at apartments. That part was rather unsuccessful (studios are either ugly and expensive or nice and what-the-fuck expensive) and my main takeaway was that I really need to find a roommate. I really hope I find one or else I don't know how I am going to sustain my current eating habits.

Anyway, we went out Saturday night and at one point, there were six of us left trying to hail a cab. After being turned down multiple times, a black car eventually agreed to pick us up. Our driver was absolutely hilarious. He said hello to us in Korean and when we responded we weren't Korean, he asked us what we were. Tommy responded with "we're the ni hao kind" hahaha. He started talking about how this winter has been too warm and it's bad business. His favorite type of weather is when it's raining and sleeting and extremely cold with the water freezing in your hair haha. He then talked about how he was from Morocco and "our people" dig tunnels in his country—we're apparently very talented diggers. He then proceeded to talk about how the Chinese ruined the US economy hahaha. It was a really educational cab ride. Now that we know if all else fails, we can always go dig tunnels in Morocco.

Okay, that's all for now. I should have more time to write when I'm bumming at the random boy's house for those few days (hmm yeah, more about that later).


 
4th, Dec 2011 @ 11:29 pm
Since I've already established the inaccuracy of my memories in the previous entries, I figured I should do a better job at recording how I'm actually feeling on this trip so I can have something to reference the next time I think about going to Hong Kong.

Last year when I was in Hong Kong, I recall thinking that I wouldn't need to return anytime soon. There are so many other places I rather visit. Knowing that, I was obviously still really excited for this trip, but within a day of coming back, I immediately remember why I had previously thought that. As much as I love my parents, traveling with them isn't exactly the most thrilling experience and there are just certain unavoidable annoyances. It also doesn't provide me with what I am looking to gain from my travels anymore.

When I was younger, I like going to Hong Kong to shop and eat. While I still love my food, my urge to shop is no longer as strong. There was a sale at Sogo the other day and seeing the all the Asians there seriously scared the shit out of me. My tendency to shop online is making me less adept at shuffling through crowds and digging through piles. I think I'm becoming less and less Asian.

Anyway, we wanted to go on a trip this time, and decided on Shanghai. Old Asian people apparently love tour groups, even in a country where they can speak the language. It's convenient and easy to not have to do any planning I suppose. We joined this 5 days, 4 nights Shanghai-plus-other-places-that-I-don't-really-know tour. It has a lot of sightseeing, but I find that I no longer mind that as much—I've definitely gotten older.

Day 1 — Hangzhou
The most eventful thing of the day was riding a boat at Xihu Tiandi, but that was actually really boring and there was nothing pretty to look at. Part of it probably had to do with the seasonality of our trip, but even if it was spring and the flowers were blossoming, I still can't imagine it to be particularly thrilling. Let's just say I've seen a lot of prettier sights. A bunch of people fell asleep on the ride with the day tour guide's historical storytelling as the background lullaby (day tour guide because we had different tour guides—a HK one, a China one that stayed with us the whole time, and daily ones that changed). If we're going to do a sightseeing tour, is it too much to ask for them to at least give me some pretty sights to see? Anyway, later that night, we went to watch this show/performance that was alright. Some dancing, some acrobatics, lots of lights. They sent us back to our hotel by 9:00 pm. This tour is definitely meant for old people.

Day 2 — Hangzhou / Wuxi
They took us to this tea place in attempt to persuade us to buy tea. It's supposed to be super healthy or something, but it was quite tasteless and very expensive. As much as the thought of drinking tea to lose weight appeal to me, I didn't particularly feel like spending 5800 RMB on tea. After lunch, they took us to a chrysanthemum tea place where the tea tasted better and was lots cheaper so we gave in and bought some there. They then brought us to this little town that's actually very cute and traditional. Went on another boat ride that was like the Chinese version of the Venice gondoliers. More entertaining than the previous boat ride. Ate a hairy crab dinner that I don't know how to truly appreciate because I enjoy the meat more than the orange stuff that I thought was fat but now know is roe and sperm.

Back at the hotel "nice" and early again so that the old people can get their sleep. Since there are three of us, I had to share a room with someone random who turned out to be the HK tour guide. Worked out better than sharing a room with my parents since they tend to wake me up when they wake up. The tour guide was on the phone for like two hours that night but since she didn't want to disturb me (or have me eavesdrop on her conversation I suppose), she stayed inside the bathroom the whole time. The only thing was, that bathroom omitted a TERRIBLE smell. Don't know how she managed to stay in there. Very impressive.

Day 3 — Wuxi / Suzhou
They took us to this place that makes teapots out of "purple sand." Had to googled it afterwards to figure out what it is (and I still don't really know). I was extremely tempted to buy a teapot and I think if I weren't travelling with my parents, I might have. There was a small set for 350 RMB but it's probably better I didn't buy it because the likelihood of me using it is quite low. I bought a teacup for 150 RMB instead. Let's see if I'll actually use that one.

They took us to buy pearls afterwards but I'm not a big fan of pearls so I basically sat around and stare off into space like the men in the group. Ate lunch at a monastery where boys and girls had to sit separately and we had to finish all our food and eat in silent. Luckily my mom was with me so I gave her all my mushrooms. The place was actually really pretty and quite modern for a monastery, but to be honest, nothing too exciting. Took lots of random pictures at this Buddhist museum-ish place afterwards. One of the drawbacks of being on a Chinese tour is that I never know exactly where I am because I don't know the English name of the destinations and trying to remember the Chinese names is not an easy task. If it weren't for Google latitude, I wouldn't even be able recall any of the cities I was at aside from Shanghai.

Arrived at Suzhou afterwards where they then took us to look at a temple—absolutely thrilling as you can imagine. After dinner, they brought us to a street market where I got to try some interesting food at least. Food really is my greatest love. If you want to bring me to some boring places, at least distract me with some food. Back at the hotel around 9:00 again.

Day 4 — Suzhou / Shanghai
Went to a museum in the morning. Don't have much to say about that. Finally arrived at my desired destination in the afternoon—Shanghai. They took us to Xiantindi which is a tourist area with really expensive bars and restaurants. It was pretty and it reminded me a little of the Rocks in Sydney. Went to eat street food afterwards which I enjoyed immensely. Had this 生煎包 that was amazingly good—thin, crunchy skin, overfilling with juices. Also had this really amazing carrot puff thingie. Yum yum. Walked around the Bund after (which I only found out was called that when Jen mentioned it). It was really similar to the Victoria Harbour in Hong Kong, except with fewer buildings.

After they dropped us off at the hotel, I met up with Jen and her cousin for drinks. She took me to this very pretty and pretentious rooftop bar where you can see the Bund, except they turned off the lights by 11 so it wasn't as pretty. This was where I learned that apparently there are a lot of French people in Shanghai. A guy started talking to us who is half French, half Spanish. Can you say HOT? He was totally my type.

I LOVE the fact that there so many international people in places like Hong Kong and Shanghai, mainly because I think Europeans are really hot and I want a fling with a European boy. In the US, it's hard to find an international bar with Europeans (at least to my knowledge) because they all seem to blend in with all the other white people. Argh. That is really unfortunate.

The next bar that she took me to was in a garden and was really cute. After that, she took me to a lounge by my hotel where we saw a bunch of Asian girls dancing with these two really ugly white guys. One was had a beer belly and the other was wearing a cowboy hat. Yes, it was an extremely disturbing scene. In Jen's words, you can clearly tell that they are nothing wherever they came from, and yet in Asia, they managed to get all these girls dancing with them just because they're white (albeit the girls were not that great looking either). Took a cab back to my hotel but it was so close the meter didn't even jump haha. The driver must have hated me but it was clear I didn't know what I was doing.

Day 5 - Shanghai
The next day, they took us to the Saudi Arabia Pavilion at the Shanghai Expo. It was actually really cool, but not cool enough to have to wait like 8 hours for it, which was what the guide said the wait time was during the actual expo. But you do feel like you're flying across different places around the world, kind of like the Soarin' ride at Epcot. This was the best place we went to during the whole tour.

Overall, half of the tour consisted of them trying to make us buy stuff while the other half was looking random sights that really weren't that exciting. I won't say that I didn't enjoy it because it was pretty relaxing and I actually really like the other members in our group, even though most of them were older. Some of the old people were actually quite hilarious. But still, it made me realize I'm seeking more from my travel experiences. I didn't learn anything new from this tour and it didn't leave me with any lasting impressions. I would like to visit Shanghai again on my own / with friends though. I think it's a city that I'd really like.


BACK TO HONG KONG
The rest of the Hong Kong trip was enjoyable, but to be honest, nothing particularly memorable either. Ate some good food, wasted some money buying useless things, had to leave before we knew it.

When we got back to Hong Kong, we luckily switched to a more expensive room at the hotel that had a living room so I was able to sleep in even when my parents woke up way earlier than necessary in the morning. We also had access to the lounge which provided FREE ALCOHOL. YES, FREE ALCOHOL. It was really unfortunate that I had no one to drink with and since I'm not alcoholic enough to drink on my own, I didn't get to take full advantage of the lounge. I went to see if there were any cute international guys lurking there but it was mostly old people and families. Sigh, depressing.

We happened to be back when Miriam was having a concert, so we went to that. I no longer like her like I used to, but hearing her talk about life still makes me happy. She just has such a good attitude about things and it always reminds me of how important it is to remember to be happy.

Saw my cousin who moved there two months ago with her husband because his company relocated him there. We just sat around and drank that day and it was actually really nice. I am definitely looking for something different in my vacations now than before. I want to relax and spend time with friends or have something exciting or just learn something. This was a good vacation in the sense it was really relaxing, but it definitely doesn't compare to the Peru trip earlier this year.

During our tour, our HK guide talked about her Africa trip and it sounded REALLY cool. I used to have no interest in nature and animals, so I don't know when exactly this transition occurred, but I'm suddenly really interested in experiencing something like that. Life is short. There's so much to see and learn. Got to make the most of our travels.


 
25th, Nov 2011 @ 11:18 am
I watched You are the Apple of my Eye with my mom last night. I really, really liked it. I usually have a hard time holding back tears when watching movies, but I legit could not stop crying when I was watching this and I didn't even know why. I became really attached to the story and the characters without even knowing it. When the main girl character didn't do as well as she wanted on her college entrance exam, I knew exactly what she was feeling. That was only the middle of the movie but that was when the tears started and it didn't stop.

The movie brings so many things to mind...the longings of what ifs and if only, the memories of growing up and growing apart, the envy for that deep connection with someone—even if it might all come to an end...I want that connection so badly. Watching them together makes me once again wonder how is it possible for people to experience such deep, powerful love...and if I would ever experience and be on the receiving end of such emotions.

It reminds me of this quote from Bones.
All of us are basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other. All searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some, they just give up hope because in their mind they’re thinking ‘Oh, there’s nobody out there for me.’ But all of us, we keep trying over, and over again. Why? Because every once in a while, every once in a while, two people meet. And there’s that spark.

I think that's why I've been irrationally thinking about boy. I want that connection so badly that even though I KNOW I am looking in the wrong place, even though I know there's a world of difference between connecting sexually and emotionally, I keep looking there because at the moment, I don't know where else to look...


 
14th, Nov 2011 @ 01:01 am
I found the article that I had been thinking of—the one that talks about the inaccuracy of our memories. The human mind is so fascinating. It really baffles me that while I am fully aware of the unreliability of my "remembering self," I let my very inaccurate memories take precedence over my "experiencing self" in dictating my feelings and decisions. Logically, I know my feelings are rooted in something non-existent. I never experienced any deep emotional connection with him and even during our time together, I knew what I was experiencing was purely lust. And yet, I still want more. What is fueling this desire for something that wasn't even particularly spectacular?

Sure the sex was good, but the few hours of physical pleasure does not justify the emotional displeasure that then resulted thereafter. I wasted way too much time thinking about someone who I don't think I would even fall for if I were to actually spend time with him. Someone who I don't think is worthy of my attention. But it is so easy to let our memories deceive us into focusing on a few moments of pleasure and disregard everything else. It is so easy to let our memories lie to us.

I agree with the belief that as a result of a combination of factors, we often remember vacations as being more enjoyable than the actual experiences. When I first read of this in class, I wasn't particularly bothered by it because I thought it was actually a good thing. Since the past is something that we can't change, there is no harm in selectively emphasizing the good, right? It seems beneficial to our happiness to remember the good and to forget the bad.

But due to my current circumstances, when I was reading the articles this time and listening to Kahneman's TED talk about it, I was particularly bothered by the fact that our decisions for the future are so rooted in these inaccurate memories.

people's choices are based on their expected hedonic consequences. These expectations converge with global memories, but often diverge from the actual experience. Hence, predictions, choices, and global memories are poor indicators of experience. Yet when people make behavioral decisions, global memories and expectations are likely to figure prominently in the information they consider. Ironically, this turns faulty indicators of experience into good predictors of future choices and behaviors
Schwarz, Kahneman, & Xu (2009)

This is exactly what is hapening to me. My desire for something more is fueled by the inaccurate memories and my irrational expectations. I'm just glad to be going on vacation for two weeks. This should help me take my mind off things. When I come back, I hope I can truly not care about what will or will not happen.


 
4th, Nov 2011 @ 12:46 am
I'm still so giddy from the season premiere *dreamy sigh* oh B&B, you're too cute. The hopeless romantic in me is overjoyed. Now if only I can find someone to be there for me "practically, emotionally, and sexually" too...


 
9th, Oct 2011 @ 10:21 pm
New obsession, new icon of course. I love this episode so much I can just keep watching it on repeat <3


 
1st, Aug 2011 @ 12:51 am
I like how even though I am completely aware of how inaccurate memories are, I still completely indulge in its lies. Logically, I understand how completely ridiculous this whole situation is, but I cannot tear myself from it. My current dilemma with morality has me reading Dorian Gray again; there are a number of quotes that are quite descriptive of this whole situation, but this is one that I just read that made me paused and sighed.

"We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible."

That is what we're trying to do, recreate the wonderful experience that we had, which was only wonderful in the first place because our memory is so deceivingly inaccurate. Except it can't happen. The more we learn about each other, the more unromantic and realistic everything becomes.

If there were no one else involved, then I guess it won't be so bad. But now I just feel stupid AND guilty. Sigh. Seriously, how did I let this happen?


 
26th, Jul 2011 @ 08:41 pm
God, I want this so, so, so fucking badly. I don't know how I'm going to deal with the disappointment again...

(and no, this entry is not about stupid boys)


 
30th, Apr 2011 @ 04:54 pm
Oh my god, I hate my stupid obsessions. They are so time consuming. I really should spend my time more wisely and start looking for a new job, but of course, that in itself has to be one of the most dreadful tasks. Is it really my fault that Nikita / Mikita / Maggie / Shane / Shaggie are SO much more interesting? And that my life is SO boring? I hate how everything has gotten into such a routine. I hate how I'm not meeting any new people, and I hate how I don't really have the motivation to do so.

On another note, my job has definitely turned me into an alcoholic. Not for the reason you'd think. It's actually because I have a really good work environment, with a lot of young people. A lot of young people + lot of work = lots of group therapy aka. copious amount of drinking. I will save my drunken stories for another entry since they're actually kind of embarrassing.

Unfortunately, this probably also contribute to the fact why even after all the working out I do, I don't ever seem to lose weight. Whenever we have an open bar, it's beer or wine. Beer = beer belly. Wine = getting extremely fucked up more quickly. Wine is so deceiving. "Oh, this is not that much at all. I can totally drink a couple of glasses (and then some more)." And you'd think I'd have learned after the first time, but clearly, I'm not intelligent like that.

Alright, since the trend that past couple of weeks is to be extremely unproductive in life and completely indulgent in my obsessions, maybe I should go make some icons. I'm being drawn back into fanart but I am STAYING away from fan fiction. Can NOT get back into that. I'm still shocked by how obsessed I am. And shipping REAL people?! NOT my usual style (since LJ) but argh, whatever; they're totally fueling the fire.


 
10th, Apr 2011 @ 08:35 pm
Sorry, LiveJournal, I know I have abandoned you the last couple of months but life has been so routine and boring that I just had nothing to write about. I really can't believe it's already April. It feels like it should be January...of 2005. Argh, this whole growing up and dealing with life shit is really ridiculous. Somebody, please tell me where time has gone??

Anyway, it seems like the only time I'm actually motivated to write anything is when I have a new obsession, and oh boy, do I have another one—Nikita. I'm not going to speak to the quality of the plot because while it is an awesome show on many levels, there are also some things that don't make much sense. But oh my god, the hotness of Maggie Q and Shane West just makes all that irrelevant. I can't stop drooling over the last episode. Oh why can't have some of that passion in my boring, boring life. Such an entertaining show. Seeing Maggie Q's awesome body also makes me more motivated to work out. I signed up for boxing classes cuz I really want to learn to kick some ass hahah. And also, having an Asian female lead on an American TV show is pretty damn awesome.

Sigh, I love my TV couples. You would think that being all grown up and shit, I would have gotten over my obsessions with fake couples, but nope, still the same pathetic girl as I was 10 years ago obsessing over Louis and Jessica. Such a hopeless romantic at heart.

Anyway, I have been super cranky lately after I came to the realization that I'm not as happy at my job anymore. It's not that there's anything particularly bad—it's just that I think I need a change. I think I get dissatisfied whenever things become too routine. I really need to learn to be happy with what I have. I still have this really strong desire to move to NY, but time keeps going by and things remain unchanged...

And so, to avoid thinking of all that, I just submerge myself in TV goodness. Well, that and food. Never forget about the food.

I feel like years from now when someone asks me why I haven't done shit with my life, I would have to give them this Liz Lemon answer, "Well there have been a lot of Amazing Races on since then and I've had to watch them and go online and comment on them." Just instead of Amazing Race, it would be one of my many obsessions. Thank you internet and youtube and twitter for keeping me as unproductive as ever.


 
26th, Dec 2010 @ 03:36 pm
Sorry, LiveJournal, for my long neglect. Life has been extremely monotonous so there was not much to update about it.

I got a e-reader last month, and since then, had been reading a bunch of classics and older books on it since they're free. I think I wrote a little while back that I was going to try to write about all the books I've read. Well, that's obviously did not happen, but this book, I do have to rant about.

Gone with the WindCollapse )


 
25th, Jul 2010 @ 10:21 pm
I decided that I need to write a little bit about the books I read because I have an extremely terrible memory and I don't remember most of them after a while. This way, I'll actually remember if I like the book or not, and why.

So I picked up The Hunger Games the other day so I'll have something to read on my commute to/from work, but the book came on Friday and I actually finished it today. So much for that. So it's definitely a quick read and it is pretty entertaining, but it is much too similiar to Battle Royale. I know that books often have the same concept/stories, but I think what really drove this book was the plot. Writing was average, character development was not particularly amazing. It was just a good story. And given that a similiar story has already been told before, it makes it very hard to like the book.

I went online afterwards to read what other people think, and some people argue that even though they agree there are similiarities, the concept from Battle Royale itself isn't new. While it is true that Battle Royale reminded me of Lord of the Flies, there are very significant differences. Similiarly, when I look at the other books referenced, the plot all seemed to have something that really distinguishes them from one another. I cannot say the same about The Hunger Games.

And while I like Katniss, I didn't find Collin's character development to be particularly amazing. Katniss was an interesting and likeable character, but...the potaganist usually is. There wasn't much depth to Peeta. I actually didn't find her story with Peeta interesting. It was too cheesy. I am a sucker for romance in movie/books, but their whole story has no effect on me. If people want to include romance in the book, please do it well. What I did enjoy, was her story with Rue.

The only thing that I do like about this book more than Battle Royale was that Katniss was a very strong female character. I don't remember Battle Royale enough to compare other aspects...I'll pick it up again to refresh my memory.

So while I did find the book an enjoyable read, I have toruble liking it. I might like it less and less if it becomes more popular. I hate it when things have to be westernized before they gain widespread attention. Granted that Battle Royale might be poorly translated and therefore people might have problem with the writing, but that does not really justify why The Hunger Games should succeed when it is such a rip-off of another story. I totally don't buy that Collins didn't read Battle Royale or watch the movie. And if she did, she needs to acknowledge its influence.

I will probably still read the second book to see how the plot develops. See if it can hold up on its own plot now that the game ended.


 
21st, Jul 2010 @ 10:05 pm
Watched Inception last night. I really enjoyed it. There were lots of things that I was confused about it, but overall, the movie was very entertaining. I like movies about dreams. Got me thinking about my dreams again. I remember that after I watched Waking Life I really wanted to have lucid dreams so I tried to remember my dreams for a while but then I got bored and gave up on it. Maybe I will try again.

Started work last week. It seems interesting but I haven't been doing much so far. Some meetings and a lot of sitting there reading random things. Getting really bored with just sitting there. Really hope I get some real work soon.

Another year older. Insignificant age. After 21, it pretty much just go downhill from there. Not really another exciting age to look forward to, until retirement anyway.


 
20th, Jul 2010 @ 11:54 pm
Do you think parents have a right to know if their teenager is taking birth control pills? What are the potential consequences of requiring parental consent?


No, no, no, no, NO. Requiring parental consent will just lead to teenagers not using it when they would have otherwise. Not having birth control pills is definitely not going to stop kids from having sex. If they're going to do it anyway, it's better for them to have birth control available as an extra protection against unplanned teenage pregnancy.

Don't usually answer these but I actually strongly believe in this.


 
10th, Jul 2010 @ 02:34 am
Since my songs are mostly located on my laptop, I use youtube a lot when I am on another computer and want to listen to something. Anyway, I was listening to the Killer's Read Your Mind when I noticed the capsule hotel at the end of the video. It reminded me of the conversation I had with Carmen about how I think they should have capsule hotels in New York. I don't know why they haven't really taken off anywhere except Japan. If it's nice and cheap, I would totally stay in one of these.



On a completely different note, went to see OneRepublic with Carmen yesterday. They were really good! So were the opening acts, Alpha Rev (who I never heard of before) and Sara Bareilles. Sara Bareilles was awesome live. She has a really good voice. I am really glad I went to this concert. I wasn't really excited at first because while I like some of OneRepublic's songs, I wasn't a huge fan, but going to their concert definitely made me like them more!


 
6th, Jul 2010 @ 03:25 pm
Had a good July 4th weekend. Went to Lady Gaga's concert on Thursday. Our seats were terrible. We were on the side and couldn't see anything, not even the screen. Kathy and I moved after a few songs and found a better seat luckily. The concert was good, but not as amazing as I expected it to be. Maybe I was just expecting too much.

Went to New York on Friday. Went clubbing on Friday and although I had fun, I've concluded I definitely need some alcohol to enjoy clubbing. Went to the beach on Sunday and it was the most people I've seen at a beach. You can't even really see the sand/water. You just see people. Still had fun though =) I always have a good time in New York <3

It was so freaking hot though. I felt like I was melting the whole weekend. Didn't see any fireworks but didn't really care. I think I've outgrown fireworks. I think Disney has the best fireworks and nothing beats that haha.

Last week of vacation before I start my new job next week.